It was almost seventy when I walked out to get the paper this morning, and we’re expecting a high today near eighty before the cold front comes through, then we won’t see above the upper fifties all week. That’s what I like about Louisiana: running an air conditioner in December.
So I open the papers and wade past the tearful announcement that a local football team got defeated in the state championships and that our local casino market has broken the nation’s Top Fifteen. Thank you, Texas!
Getting to the ‘Lifestyles’ section, we see that life has changed drastically for another handful of folks as the big hospital across the river reports fifteen new babies between November 20 & November 28. That’s eight babies who, a generation or two ago, would have been characterized as ‘bastards’, and three of the new mommies didn’t see fit to even announce the name of the sperm donor for their brand new crotchfruit.
Let’s just dive on in, shall we?
Miss Danica(!) H. is prescient with new son Waylon Wayne. Daddy? No got! Hillary’s ‘village’ will raise this one.
D’Andre(!) L. & Rava(!) A. do a son who will enter life’s race as Ray’Von K’Andre.
Kane L. & Tyreshia(!) D. give their son a step up in life by framing him as Kane D’Shawn La’Marcus.
Derrick R. & tiffany S. do a bit of tryndee with their daughter, little Kyndel Elizabeth.
Chad & Kheyloni(!) S.show you plebians how to properly spell a kid’s name to equip him for success, presenting us with little Jewlian Elijah.
Joseph Z. & April S. tag their baby girl with Jayla J’Lora because nothing says ‘We’re sophisticated’ like using punctuation in your baby’s name.
Donald & Breanna(!) L.name their son after some random passerby, giving us little Jenson Beaux. Oh, by the way, “eaux” is pronounced “oh”, but looks so much more classy, yaknow.
And lastly, Adam & Stacy R. know that the way to make a kid stand out is to take a name with a commonly known spelling and change it. They show us little Faith Alizabeth. Or maybe they just don’t know how to spell.
And that’s the end of the list for this week.