1859 – Petroleum discovered in Titusville, Pennsylvania. World’s first successful oil well. Several polar bears mysteriously drown.

1928 – Kellogg-Briand Pact, outlawing war, signed by sixty nations. Ah, yes, the notable “signing a piece of paper will stop crazed lunatics with armies” ploy. WE all KNOW this one works…

1939 – First flight of the Heinkel He 178, the first modern jet aircraft. Nothing quite like the quest for military dominance to further science.

1945 – US troops land in Japan after Japanese surrender. That’d be Dad puttering around the anchorage in Tokyo Bay in a landing craft.

2003 – Mars makes its closest approach to Earth in nearly 60,000 years, passing approximately 34,646,416 miles (55,758,006 kilometers) from Earth. “Dude! Like, you could FEEL the breeze!”