What Men Want… What Women Want…

The heck with it…this is MY Blog. What do **I** want?

Mrs. du Toit writes an article about what men want… Go read it. It’s pretty darned good… Of course, she’s got the inspiration of being married to Kim du Toit

I haven’t got the foggiest idea of what men and women want… I’ve been married three times, two divorces and an annulment… so obviously I’m not in position to tell anybody anything on the subject of interpersonal relationships between adult members of opposite sexes.

So it boils down to me…

Spiked heels don’t do it for me. A woman who presents herself in spiked heels gives me cause to question the efficiency fo her thought processes and priorities. For the occasion which requires “dressing up”, I’d hope to see something sensible and low-heeled. She shouldn’t NEED a foot massage after an evening out. She may get one for the enjoyment of the two of us.

And make-up?!?!? I don’t particularly care about artificial enhancements which take hours to apply and smear off during the course of the activities of the day. Hey, sweetness, get up and wash your face and meet me at the boat…(a hint of perfume is nice, too…)

And hair? I don’t want to deal with a laquered creation of improbable shape that feels like fibreglas batting. I’d rather enjoy something that smells nice and feels like silk and actually moves. I don’t care if it looks a bit tousled first thing in the morning or after the sea breeze has been tossing it about all day.

Hands? I cannot fathom the idea of long, painted nails. I’m a low-maintenance type guy myself. My ideal lady will not have “ghetto talons” or nails which preclude her from enjoying the things I enjoy. Long nails and rope do not mix…kinda makes ’em anathema on a sailboat unless she’s intent on pulling a “Cleopatra’s Barge” scene… I mean, I can do a credible Mark Anthony bit, but slaves to run the boat are going to be hard to find…

Shape? The manifestations of anorexia which the media touts as the ideal female form leave me cold. A female form should have softness and roundness to it. If I wanted to see angles and “six-pack” abs, I suppose I could hang out in the locker room at the local gym. The effect is much the same, as far as I am concerned.

Of course, there’s the opposite end of the spectrum, gigantically enhanced boobage: Come on, who’re you gonna impress with all that? I work with enough silicone on the job without somebody trying to impress me with another three pounds planted in some fetishist’s idea of compensation for his failure to be breast-fed. I’ll be quite happy with the original equipment, thank you!

Forget smoking. I cannot stand the smell. I won’t have it, not with somebody I want to be around. Period.

Expressive eyes do it. Intelligence does it. Wit and good humor do it. A vocabulary which includes words with more than two syllables is good. A foul mouth in public isn’t.

Oh, and don’t bother sending in applications. I think I found one of these…

9 out of 10 in the black at 500 yards

A proud father reports on his son becoming a Marine

A few weeks ago our son(at USMC boot camp) qualified with his rifle at Pendleton. He qualified as an expert and put 9 out of 10 rounds into the black at 500 yards. I don’t know relatively how good this is compared to others but it sounds pretty good to me. He was able to call home but could only leave a message since we were out.

The following week, he had the gas chamber. It was NOT fun and several recruits tried to run. Our recruit said that the worst was the second time he had to break seal on his gasmask and he got a big whiff of the gas. One recruit had a BM in his pants!

On an 8 mile hike, the son had to take a leak real bad so, after holding it as long as he could, he whipped it out and let’r rip as he walked. An instructor noticed and came running over yelling what the hell he was doing. After our son told him the obvious, the instructor started laughing and told him that there was a head(Port-a-pot)a few yards away!

We received a short letter from our son after the crucible. He was just relieved it was over. Sounds like he enjoyed the “Warrior’s Breakfast” He said they even had cake to eat. Some guys ate so much it came back up and they just started eating again.

In the last letter, our son told us that he had caught pneumonia and the doctor did not want him to take the final swim test. The doc talked about holding him back but the son convinced him to let him continue. He passed the swim test and will graduate June 18th.

(Posted by Jeffe on CSP Gun Talk)

Memorial Day. This is appropriate a post as my previous Memorial Day post a bit down the page. The traditions of duty, honor and country aren’t just something that happened way back whenever. It carries on today, up to, and including men like Jeffe’s son. And for that, I am thankful…

Warning: Low blogging alert!

I’m not working tomorrow, of course, but Tuesday will find me a hundred-odd miles east of here doing some work at a Strategic Petroleum Reserve site, easy stuff, really, but I doubt that I will be on the computer tomorrow or tomorrow evening. Tuesday evening I hope to be back home, but it may be late.

One thing about driving a couple of hours is that I get to listen to a lot of talk radio, including NPR. Lafayette, Louisiana has an NPR station which I can listen to for almost the whole trip, and it’s a decided switch from my normal listening, which consists of Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, et. al. Listening to the simpering heads of “All Things Considered(as long as we can spin them for liberal benefit)” renews my faith that not only is there evil in the world, but that American tax dollars and contributions will pay liberal sycophants to kiss its a**. Useful idiots…

So by the time I get back to the comfort of my own home, I ought to be plenty irate…

Listening to liberals talk about Memorial Day is like listening to Hugh Hefner speak out for chastity…

Might be time to dust off the old bicycle

This can’t be good…

KHOBAR, Saudi Arabia — Suspected Islamic militants wearing military-style uniforms sprayed gunfire inside two office compounds in the heart of the Saudi oil production region Saturday, killing at least 10 people — including an American — and then taking dozens of hostages at a luxury expatriate resort.

It seems that gasoline prices are going up and up. The Saudis were getting ready to increase production to help out things, and now this happens.

I wonder how this will all pan out. We get little of our oil from Saudi Arabia, but if the terrorists succeed in cutting Saudi production, it will cause shortfalls on a global level which can only drive prices upward.

Restoration completed..

As I indicated in a previous post, I took the boat out today and brought the unique Chrissy along for conversation. She’s the lady who runs my office at work and has been my good friend for many years.

After a quick stop at the grocery store for diet-compatible snacks, we made it to the boat at 8:30 AM, cranked up and motored out of the slip and around to the fuel dock. Well, the sign on the door of the little store which sells fuel, beer and other essential boating items says they don’t open until 9 AM. As I was walking back to the boat, the elderly gentleman who manages the marina was walking from his house on the property to the store. I hollered my apologies and he said he had to get over there soon enough anyway.

So I filled up my gas tank, replacing the seven gallons I’d burned on four previous trips, and while I was at it, I went ahead and filled one of my five-gallon gas jugs. These provide me with additional range as well as the ability to bail out the occasional unfortunate soul who runs out of fuel on the water. Twelve gallons. At $2.20+ per gallon. Fuel is expensive on the water. The gas stations I passed on the way to the boat had prices from $1.89.9 to $1.93.9. The price goes up considerably when you can pull your boat up to the pump.

The old guy told me that fifty-plus boats had come in from the Houston and Galveston areas a few weeks ago for our spring festival, and many of them had to refuel before going back home. He said there were a lot of them with four and five-hundred dollar fuel bills. Big power boats eat fuel. Galveston Bay is a hundred and forty miles from here by water. For my boat, IF (big if…) I had to motor the whole way, it’d take right at 30 gallons. These floating palaces take two and three hundred. Of course, they go considerably faster’n my blazing 5.5 knots (6 MPH) and have a considerably higher level of luxury…

Back to the day’s activities: We left the fuel dock and headed south down the ship channel. We were motoring south into a south wind. Sailing at this time was clearly not an option. I engaged the autopilot so I didn’t have to keep my hands on the wheel, and eating peanuts and motoring along, Chris and I talked about just about everything.

We motored past the construction site which will be southwest Louisiana’s newest riverboat casino, under the 130-foot arch of the I-210 bridge, past the Citgo oil refinery, past the docks of two major petroleum pipelines, each with a huge tanker disgorging its cargo of oil. Continuing on, we passed the docks of a coke (black petroleum product, not dope of drink…)calcining plant, past Moss Lake, a pretty nice expanse of water lined with some nice homes. Unfortunately, Moss Lake is like many bodies of water in Southwest Louisiana, too darned shallow for my boat, so we stayed in the ship channel and kept heading south.

One of the more unusual things we saw was the temporary building apparently put near the shore of the channel as the site for ?hmmm? a wedding? I don’t know. It was a big-bucks thing. A big, air-conditioned tent-like structure with plastic sheeting through which we could see some of the interior preparations. Adjacent was a gazebo, built out over the water, and on the gazebo deck was a fully outfitted bar. Some little rich girl is going to be a princess for sure…

Anyway, we continued south past the Global Industries shipyard. There are some interesting vessels there, ships built in strange configurations to perform various esoteric tasks associated with offshore oil and gas production. You see, Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama started drilling for oil and gas before the environmentalist whackos came into power. So even though they can’t drill off the coast of Florida or California, they darned sure do it here…

Global Industries sits on the juncture of the Calcasieu (cowl-ca-shoe) ship channel and the Gulf Intracoastal Waterway (GIWW), locally known as the Intracoastal Canal. This watery cross-roads is known locally as the “Four Corners”.

If we’d headed east, we’d have come to the next intersection, the Industrial Canal, a waterway dredged thirty-five years ago to provide waterway access for more industrial sites. One of my major clients has their site here, and true to function, there was a huge ship at their docks unloading a cargo of liquid natural gas. That’s the result of another of those “not in my back yard” decisions by other cities. Several shiploads of natural gas come in here every month. And it is only a mile from the old family homestead, so it really is in MY back yard. And it provides good jobs for local people and pumps natural gas into a pipeline that feeds energy to a hungry nation.

Well, we didn’t turn that way. We motored on, the 27-year-old engine performing flawlessly, for another several miles, until I figure we’d met the requirements for the day’s trip. With Chrissy watching Bob, the autopilot, I went forward and raised the mainsail while our nose was pointing south, dead into the wind. After I got the mainsail up, we spun the boat around and killed the engine. Blissful silence! Even though the little engine is quiet enough to carry on normal conversation in the cockpit, turning it off always makes me happy. After all, this IS a sailboat!

Motoring into the wind on the trip down, we’d been running four to five knots. Under sail at last. The wind was dead astern, and under mainsail alone, we were doing over six knots. And it was wonderful! Between breaks in the clouds, the sun sets the water to sparkling, and the only sounds were the wind in the rigging and the chuckling wake. Chrissy mumbled something about it sounding like a waterfall and promptly started napping on and off, and I steered north, retracing our path, enjoying my boat under sail.

We had occasional traffic, a few fishermen and a few pleasure boats, and a couple of tugboats pushing strings of barges, and one particularly annoying a**hole with a huge powerboat with enormously loud engines. But mostly what we had was a great day on the water, pleasant conversation, the feel of wind and sun and spray. All things considered, a good day. I feel much better.

The world turned upside down…

I’m of the same age as those called the “Woodstock Generation” although I do NOT identify with the goals of that bunch of aimless scum.

But I remember Country Joe and the Fish. They had a catchy song about the Viet Nam war. But they remain long-haired hippy scum in my book.

So it warms the cockles of my hear to see Aaron the Liberal Slayer finally put the RIGHT words to their tune. Go and see! REALLY! Go and see!

Memorial Day

All gave some. Some gave all.

It’s time! It’s time for me to write a Memorial Day message. This ain’t easy. Most of you know that I’m a veteran, US Army, 1968-1977, and only some strange twist kept me from Viet Nam like thousands of my contemporaries. I knew guys who trained with me that didn’t come back. There are things that trigger memories of some of these faces, friends. We were young together. I’m getting old. They’re forever young.

My dad was a WW II veteran. My great-uncle, W.L. “Nub” Thompson, was a WW I vet. My nephew was in the Marines with Desert Storm. I think I have a few others in the family.

When President Reagan won the Cold War, veterans were in the millions. Some had seen combat in wars from the dawn of the twentieth century. Others might never have heard the crack of a rifle round passing nearby or seen the incandescence of artillery hitting the hill ahead of their advance. And there were the Cold War guys, like me, the big insurance policy, the dogs that Moscow was afraid to see unleashed.

And we got to come home and sit around and tell our stories and remember our days and nights. Memorial Day is about us, yes, but more than that, it’s about white markers in green fields, here in America, and in places with foreign names across dark waters. Our fathers, our brothers, who lived, loved and dreamed as we do, answered the call, as we did, and gave all.

Memorial Day. Do take time to remember.

“It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God that such men lived.”
– General George S. Patton, Jr

Pigs and Politics


Say Uncle has this article
about the South Carlina governor bringing to pigs with him to address the House on the subject of pork-barrel spending.

Here’s my favorite “Pigs and Politics” story:

Air Force One landed and then-President Clinton walked down the staris with a replica of an Arkansas Razorback pig under each arm. Stopping in front of the Marine honor guard at the bottom of the stairs, he turned and said, “How ’bout these? I got ’em for Hillary and Chelsea.”

The Marine looked and replied, “Two pigs? I’d say that was a fair trade, sir!.”

Restoration of the soul…

Will take place tomorrow. Plans are to be on the boat and in the ship channel running south by 9 AM. Have laid up supplies in an ice chest for sustenance. I expect to travel south under power, since the deepwater channel is almost exactly straight south and the expected winds are from the south.

The little Atomic four will be plenty quiet enough to put up with for a few hours while I motor to the south end of Calcasieu Lake, locally known as Big Lake. There I will look for porpoises harvesting fish, and then I plan on turning around, hoisting sail, shutting down the engine, and sailing back home. Totally mindless. Hardly the heave and splash of an offshore run, but what a way to relax… Wind whistling in the rigging, the sound of gulls, the whisper of the wake. He restoreth my soul…

Living History

A World War II Royal Air Force pilot is reminiscing before school children about his days in the air force.

“In 1942,” he says, “the situation was really tough. The Germans had a very strong air force. I remember, ” he continues, “one day I was protecting the bombers and suddenly, out of the clouds, these fokkers appeared.

(At this point, several of the children giggle.)

“I looked up, and right above me was one of them. I aimed at him and shot him down. They were swarming. I immediately realized that there was another fokker behind me.”

At this instant the girls in the auditorium start to giggle and boys start to laugh. The teacher stands up and says, “I think I should point out that ‘Fokker’ was the name of the German-Dutch aircraft company.”

“That’s true,” says the pilot, “but these fokkers were flying Messerschmitts.”

(A post by Tony M on CSP Gun Talk)

Warblogging

News from the Fridge keyed me onto this letter from a Marine major:

An excerpt:

I will close with something that was on my mind this morning when I punished myself by watching CBS news. I saw the anchor come on and just before he spoke, I told my rack mate “Lets see what the opening line is going to be….” Sure enough before he said anything else, he said “It just keeps getting worse and worse….” Yes, he was talking about Iraq. Honest to God we laughed at him. I’m not kidding. It is getting to the point where the Marines are getting past their anger at the talking heads and are laughing. To really get a rise out of them, requires a retired military officer who betrays his oath and stokes the fear mongering.

Do you remember when I came back last fall and people would ask about WMD and I would say that I did not care if we ever found any? The day we found the mass grave is vivid to me still. We found it up near the Iranian boarder. Very quickly people came from miles and miles away. We stood and watched the family members digging up bones and clutching remains as they sat in the dirt, rocked back and forth and cried. They were adamant that we should come over and look as they dug them up. Every single body had its hands and feet wired together with ROMEX. Each skull had a bullet hole in it except for a few that were smashed with a club or rifle butt. There were clearly men but also women and children. The grave never made the news as there were no media with us and it was small by Iraq standards. One detail that I found particularly outrageous was that the assassins left the identifications on the bodies as if they were so arrogant that it never occured that someday, someone would dig up the bodies and hold them accountable. I will never forget it.

Marine Major Dave Bellon! One of thousands of Americans doing what it takes to make us stronger and safer. Go read the whole letter. It’s a great counterpoint to the cr*p you see in the conventional media.