1789 – On the balcony of Federal Hall on Wall Street in New York City, George Washington takes the oath of office to become the first elected President of the United States. See? See??!! That’s where the country went wrong! The first president was sworn in on WALL STREET!!!! {/moonbat}

1812 – The Territory of Orleans becomes the 18th U.S. state under the name Louisiana.

1863 – Mexican forces attacked the French Foreign Legion in Hacienda Camarón, Mexico. The Legionaires take a butt-kicking in a brave and public fashion and the day is still celebrated by the Foreign Legion. This would be roughly equivalent to the Seventh Cavalry celebrating Little Big Horn Day.

1900 – Casey Jones dies in a train wreck in Vaughn, Mississippi, while trying to make up time on the Cannonball Express.

1938 – The animated cartoon short Porky’s Hare Hunt debuts in movie theaters, introducing Happy Rabbit, who would evolve into Bugs Bunny, my favorite of all animated characters.

1945 – World War II: Fuehrerbunker: Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun commit suicide after being married for one day. Soviet soldiers raise the Victory Banner over the Reichstag building.

1975 – Fall of Saigon: Communist forces gain control of Saigon. The Vietnam War formally ends with the unconditional surrender of South Vietnamese president Duong Van Minh. With the demise of the evil south Vietnamese government, Vietnam can get on with “Giving Peace a Chance”, refugees of which have provided a new ethnic enrichment to America. Thousands who couldn’t get out died in ‘re-education’ camps. Other thousands died by drowning as they tried to escape in overloaded boats.

1993 – The World Wide Web is born at CERN. Al Gore curiously absent.

1553 – Flemish woman introduces practice of starching linen into England.

1587 – Francis Drake leads a raid in the Bay of Cádiz, sinking at least 23 ships of the Spanish fleet. today he’d be sitting onshore in “Merrie Olde England” sipping beer out of a plastic mug, his fleet sold for scrap, and hoping that the government could convince the UN to send a sternly worded letter…

1882 – The “Elektromote” – forerunner of the trolleybus – is tested by Ernst Werner von Siemens in Berlin. There’s that “S-word” that has caused me such heartache in recent years.

1945 – The Dachau concentration camp is liberated by United States troops.

1965 – Pakistan’s Space and Upper Atmosphere Research Commission (SUPARCO) successfully launches its seventh rocket in its Rehber series. Oddly enough, one of its design specifications is the ability land a payload in downtown New Delhi.

2002 – The United States is re-elected to the United Nations Commission on Human Rights, one year after losing the seat that it had held for 50 years. A commission on human rights at the UN carries about the same logic as a symposium on chastity at a whorehouse.

2004 – Oldsmobile builds its final car ending 107 years of production. Now it’s Pontiac, Hummer and Saturn’s turn. 2011 – they’re history.

1789 – Mutiny on the Bounty, Captain William Bligh and 18 sailors are set adrift and the rebel crew returns to Tahiti briefly and then sets sail for Pitcairn Island.

1862 – American Civil War: Admiral David Farragut captures New Orleans, Louisiana, and the Feds have been taking care of the place ever since…

1945 – Benito Mussolini and his mistress Clara Petacci are executed by a firing squad consisting of members of the Italian resistance movement who became exceedingly brave once the Allies were on the peninsula and the Germans were on the run.

1947 – Thor Heyerdahl and five crew mates set out from Peru on the Kon-Tiki to prove that Peruvian natives could have settled Polynesia. I’ve read and re-read this story. It’s a classic tale of men against the sea.

1952 – Dwight D. Eisenhower resigns as Supreme Commander of NATO. He’s headed for the Presidency of the United States.

1996 – In Tasmania, Australia, Martin Bryant goes on a shooting spree, killing 35 people and seriously injuring 21 more, resulting in draconian Australian gun laws that disarm the law-abiding. Crazy people, however, remain crazy, and criminals remain criminals.

1521 – Battle of Mactan: Explorer Ferdinand Magellan is killed by natives in the Philippines led by chief Lapu-Lapu. Magellan STILL gets credit for circumnavigating the world.

1749 – First performance of Handel’s Music for the Royal Fireworks in Green Park, London.

1810 – Beethoven composes his famous piano piece, Für Elise. Who “Elise” was is uncertain, but we forever associate her with a delightful bit of music.

1813 – War of 1812: United States troops capture the capital of Ontario, York (present day Toronto, Canada). We gave it back. Shoulda kept it and let the Brits have New Orleans.

1865 – The steamboat Sultana, carrying 2,400 passengers, explodes and sinks in the Mississippi River, killing 1,700, most of whom were Union survivors of the Andersonville and Cahaba Prisons. More lives lost than the Titanic, but a boatload of millionaires is oh so much more photogenic than a boatload of smelly old soldiers.

1965 – RC Duncan patents “Pampers” disposable diaper.

1981 – Xerox PARC introduces the computer mouse. As one of my computer nut buddies tried to tell me, “That “mouse” thing and those little 3.5? disks are what makes the Macintosh a toy. REAL computers use DOS.”