1513 – Juan Ponce de Leon sets foot on Florida becoming the first European known to do so. He would have arrived sooner but he was behind a little old blue-haired Yankee lady doing 35 in the left lane of the interstate in her Lincoln with her blinker on for the last thirty-five miles…

1792 – The Coinage Act is passed establishing the United States Mint.

1800 – Ludwig van Beethoven leads the premiere of his First Symphony in Vienna.

1900 – The United States Congress passes the Foraker Act, giving Puerto Rico limited self-rule. And they’ve done such a GREAT job. Let’s make ’em a STATE!

1902 – “Electric Theatre”, the first full-time movie theater in the United States, opens in Los Angeles, California.

1912 – RMS Titanic undergoes sea trials under her own power. “Past performance may not be indicative of future results.”

1917 – World War I: U.S. President Woodrow Wilson asks the U.S. Congress for a declaration of war on Germany.

1956 – As the World Turns and The Edge of Night premiere on CBS-TV. The two soaps become the first daytime dramas to debut in the 30-minute format. My paternal grandmother’s life went on hold while her “shows” were on.

1975 – Vietnam War: Thousands of civilian refugees flee from the Quang Ngai Province in front of advancing North Vietnamese troops. “All we are saying, is give peace a chance”. Hippy ba*tards!

1980 – President Jimmy Carter, the SECOND THIRD worst president in history, signs the Crude Oil Windfall Profits Tax Act in an effort to help the U.S. economy rebound. Doesn’t work, like most of Carter’s presidency and most of the people who voted for him.

1982 – Falklands War: The Falkland Islands are invaded by Argentina. “Those Brits will never mobilize and sail 9000 miles to recover an island with a few farmers and sheep…” Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher had more testicular fortitude than most of our federal government.

1987 – IBM introduces PS/2 & OS/2. Both flop miserably…

1989 – Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev arrives in Havana, Cuba, to meet with Fidel Castro in an attempt to mend strained relations. That’s diplomacy-talk for “You’re not sending us enough free sh*t.”

1994 – The National Convention of New Sudan of the SPLA/M opens in Chukudum. “We’ll be all independent as long as the rest of the world sends us money. And stuff. Lots of both.”

2002 – Israeli forces surround the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem, into which armed Palestinians had retreated. This can’t be considered anti-Christian on the part of muslims. They hide ‘fighters’ and weapons in their own mosques all the time. Also schools, medical facilities, nurseries, residential neighborhoods…

2015 – Gunmen attack Garissa University College in Kenya, killing at least 148 people and wounding 79 others. Nothing new here. Just some clean-cut young men from the Religion of Peace™ out doing a little proselytizing.