Daily Archives: 6/9/2013

The Name Game

The Name Game #326

Went all the way down to seventy degrees last night after a pretty good set of thunderstorms int he afternoon pre-cooled the area.  It’s headed for near ninety today.  I walked out this morning under skies turned milky blue by the high humidity.  Opened the paper past no big stories on the front page and found the birth announcements from two local hospitals, a total of thirty-four births, twenty-one to unwed parents, four new mommies still trying to figure out what (or who) hit ’em.  Let’s wade into the shallow end of the gene pool, shall we?

Miss Lydia R. does a son tagged with Daniel Buhuru.  ‘Buhuru’?  Seriously?  Maybe this is one of those spawnings like the one that produced our Pretender in Chief.

Jasmine W. & Jessi W. (not the same last name) toss out a son, little Jayceon.

Tabitha & Derrick P. bring out a daughter, little Zeava Lynn.

Aimee & Tony L. know that the key to success is a beautifully spelled name so their daughter starts out as Bayli.

Jessica & David N. see things the same way, so their son starts out as Jaxon Daavid.  Yes, there are TWO ‘a’s’ in ‘Daavid’ because that’s what’s in the paper.

Casey G. & Amos S. are confused as to the ancestry of their son, so he’s Bryson Scott.

Miss Darlene M. tags a son with Kingsley Fabien.

We have a few the “Punctuation make MAH baby speshull!” :

Pierre T. & Verangel(!) L. do a son as Ja’Korain Cordez.

Quinston C. & Destini(!) T. apostrophicate twins, daughter Lon’Dynn Sanaa’ and son Lan’Dynn Mekhi, thereby garnering the praise and admiration of hundreds of people who marvel at their taste and innovation.

Anthony S. & Elizabeth C. take tryndeigh all the way into stupid with their daughter, little Paisleagh I’Lonna.

Randy H. & Samantha J. know that a surprise capital letter will wow future employers for their daughter RayLee Joel.

Jeremy A. & Colleen V. innovate a name for their son, Haxton Blaze.

Cameron W. & Chelsea F. are confused by that daughter-son thing, so their baby girl is Payson Grace.

Jared & Carrie F. triple up on their son, little Ganon Lewis Daniel.

Brandan B. & Nikima(!) M. present their son, Benaiah Daniel, thereby winning some kind of award for the most obscure Biblical name I’ve seen lately.

And that’s the deal for the week.  Now, if the weather doesn’t turn to crap again, I’m going to the range.

History

Today in History – June 9

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AD 53 – Roman Emperor Nero marries Claudia Octavia after having her brother killed.
AD 62 – Claudia Octavia commits suicide
AD 68 – Roman Emperor Nero commits suicide, after poetically quoting Homer’s Iliad. The preceding three entries brought to you by the William Jefferson Clinton Library, where the motto is “We’re not as bad as Nero”.

1534 – Jacques Cartier is the first European to discover the Saint Lawrence River. Maybe. Could well have been Norse or Irish or Welsh.

1732 – James Oglethorpe is granted a royal charter for the colony of Georgia. Ever since then, Georgia history students have wished the charter had gone to a guy named “Smith”.

1772 – The British ship Gaspee is burned off the coast of Rhode Island. Like the Boston Tea Party except a little more energetic. The Gaspee was blockading and enforcing Brit trade regulations. In keeping with today’s “Tea Party” movement, I guess I could go set my own boat afire. Folks, the original Tea Party didn’t dump their own tea. We just ain’t mad enough yet.

1909 – Alice Huyler Ramsey, a 22-year-old housewife and mother from Hackensack, New Jersey, becomes the first woman to drive across the United States. With three female companions, none of whom could drive a car, in fifty-nine days she drove a Maxwell automobile the 3,800 miles from Manhattan, New York, to San Francisco, California. They were shoe-shopping.

1930 – Chicago Tribune reporter Jake Lingle is killed during rush hour at the Illinois Central train station by the Leo Vincent Brothers, allegedly over a $100,000 gambling debt owed to Al Capone.

1959 – The USS George Washington is launched. It is the first submarine to carry ballistic missiles. Sales of new clean underwear spike at the Kremlin.

1968 – U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson declares a national day of mourning following the assassination of Senator Robert F. Kennedy. Teddy Kennedy is drunk and scoring chicks at the funeral.