1537 – The first complete English-language Bible (the Matthew Bible) is printed, with translations by William Tyndale and Miles Coverdale. Important? yes. letting the PEOPLE read the book on their own instead of relying on the interpretations of a special group is part and parcel of freedom.

1795 – Napoleon Bonaparte first rises to national prominence with a “Whiff of Grapeshot”, using cannon to suppress armed counter-revolutionary rioters threatening the French Legislature (National Convention). Uh, that was people opposing the nutcases that took the idea of “revolution” to mean “everybody that doesn’t agree with us is gonna die”. Napoleon was taking care of people who opposed “change” as defined by the whackjobs in charge.

1824 – Mexico adopts a new constitution and becomes a federal republic. With long tradition of despot, king and strongman, the idea of a ‘republic’ doesn’t catch on.

1830 – Creation of the state of Belgium after separation from The Netherlands. In German, the name translates to “Gateway to France”. The Belgian army is like the German’s “practice dummy” for the big game with France.

1876 – Texas A&M University opens as the Agricultural and Mechanical College of Texas becomes Texas’s first public institution of higher education in that state. “Aggie jokes” make A&M the blondes of the college world.

1957 – USSR launches Sputnik I, the first artificial satellite to orbit the Earth. Its beeps could be received by shortwave receivers worldwide.

1958 – Fifth Republic of France is established. The Sixth Republic may well be sharia law.

2003 – Maxim restaurant suicide bombing in Haifa, Israel: 21 Israelis, Jews and Arabs, are killed, and 51 others wounded. Nothing like blowing up families and random innocent folks to show the world how you should be allowed to govern your own country. Some of that Religion of Peace stuff.

1795 – General Napoleon Bonaparte first rises to national prominence being named to defend the French National Convention against armed counter-revolutionary rioters threatening the three year old revolutionary government. Nothing like blowing apart a few dissenters with cannon fire to cement your position in the public eye.

1906 – SOS adopted as warning signal by first conference on wireless telegraphy. dididit dahdahdah dididit. Morse code is gone. Dead. The only vestiges around are in its use by radio amateurs (hams) where they recognize that a Morse signal is easily transmitted from a simple transmitter, easily received with a simple receiver, needs no special equipment to decode besides a human ear, and can cut through interference better than just about any other form of signal.

1908 – The Pravda newspaper founded by Leon Trotsky, Adolph Joffe, Matvey Skobelev and other Russian exiles in Vienna. Its function today has been taken over by the New York Times.

1913 – Federal Income Tax signed into law (at 1%). As one of those “patriotic” Americans who now is “privileged” to be “contributing” in the 20% bracket, I can tell you this is a fine example of allowing the camel to stick his nose in the tent.

1942 – Spaceflight: First successful launch of a V-2 /A4-rocket from Test Stand VII at Peenemünde, Germany: the first man-made object to reach space. In a few months, they’d be re-entering the atmosphere above targets in England and continental Europe.

1955 – The Mickey Mouse Club debuts on ABC. Today the equivalent group is ru(i)nning the country. (Actually, there’s a difference. The Mickey Mouse Club had adult guidance.)

1964 – In a culinary milestone, the first Buffalo Wings are made at the Anchor Bar in Buffalo, New York. Nothing like the business model of serving spicy food at a place that also sells beer.

1990 – Re-unification of Germany. The German Democratic Republic ceased to exist and its territory became part of the Federal Republic of Germany. East German citizens became part of the European Community, which later became the European Union. Now celebrated as German Unity Day. “Mister Gorbachev, tear down THIS wall.”

1995 – O. J. Simpson is acquitted of the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman. The nation burns for weeks as white people riot over what they see as an unfair verdict. Wait — what? No riots? Darn!

1535 – Jacques Cartier discovers Montreal, Quebec. You mean it was ALREADY there?

1835 – The Texas Revolution begins with the Battle of Gonzales: Mexican soldiers attempt to disarm the people of Gonzales, Texas, but encounter stiff resistance from a hastily assembled militia. I figure the way things are going, in another ten years it’ll be Mexico again…

1866 – J Osterhoudt patents the tin can with key opener.

1924 – The Geneva Protocol is adopted as a means to strengthen the League of Nations. With this one momentous and visionary step, peace is spread abroad on the wings of doves. Bloody-handed despots everywhere see the error in their ways and repent, and the world eases into an age of peace, love and harmony. Oh, wait! That DIDN’T happen with the League of Nations. We needed the United Nations to bring worldwide love and harmony. I’m STILL waiting…

1941 – World War II: In Operation Typhoon, Germany begins an all-out offensive against Moscow. These are the same two parties that only two years before had signed a pact NOT to fight each other, meanwhile divying Poland up between them.

1968 – A peaceful student demonstration in Mexico City ends in the Tlatelolco massacre. Dead number in the hundreds. Makes that bunch of smelly hippies singing “Four dead in Ohio” sort of a sad thing…

2002 – The Beltway sniper attacks begin, extending over three weeks. Everybody knows that serial killers are always white guys.

1795 – Belgium is conquered by France. Little-known fact: in archaic French, “belgium” translates as “doormat”. Even more oddly, over the years it has crept into German language as “gateway to Paris”.

1811 – The first steamboat to sail the Mississippi River arrives in New Orléans, Louisiana.

1880 – John Philip Sousa becomes leader of the United States Marine Band. I love Sousa marches.

1880 – First electric lamp factory opened by Thomas Edison. These are rapidly going the way of buggy whip factories.

1908 – Ford puts the Model T car on the market at a price of US$825. By the 1920’s, the price drops to $260.

1928 – The Soviet Union introduces its First Five-Year Plan. Millions died as Stalin and his central planners broke a few eggs to make the perfect omelet that was the Soviet Union.

1947 – The North American F-86 Sabre flies for the first time. In three years it would be shooting the best of North Korea and the Soviet Union from the skies.

1949 – The People’s Republic of China is declared by Mao Zedong. When you see “People’s Republic” in a country’s name, you can be sure people are getting solidly screwed.

1960 – Nigeria gains independence from the United Kingdom. Freed from the control of the white interlopers, it goes on to become a beacon of fairness and freedom in Africa…

1971 – Walt Disney World opens near Orlando, Florida, United States. Centrifugal Bumblepuppy for the masses.

1982 – Sony launches the first consumer compact disc player (model CDP-101).