1814 – The Treaty of Fontainebleau ends the War of the Sixth Coalition against Napoleon Bonaparte, and forces him to abdicate unconditionally for the first time. What the HELL?!? There he was all dressed up and everything, and the opposing armies were in Paris, his capital. This was upsetting even to Frenchmen, although in the ensuing years they’ve had ample opportunity to get used to it. Fear not, though, the French will follow Napoleon when he makes a come-back tour… Treaty? Not worth the paper it’s signed on… In a year, at Waterloo, the Brits and assorted Germans and Dutch do it the way it NEEDS to be done: Kick the living crap out of him and haul his butt off into exile so the French have to find somebody else to worship. France went back to being a monarchy for the second time (third, if you count Emperor Napoleon I) since the French Revolution.

1865 – President Abraham Lincoln makes his last public speech. Wife says, “Ya done good today, Hon! Let’s plan on catching us a play.”

1900 – US Navy’s first submarine made its debut. What goes up must come down. The reverse is not necessarily true. That’s why I wasn’t a submariner.

1921 – Iowa becomes the first U.S. state to impose a cigarette tax. This is called “the camel’s nose”. (Hah!  ‘Camel’!  On a cigarette tax! I slay me!)

1951 – Korean War: President Harry Truman relieves General Douglas MacArthur of overall command in Korea. General MacArthur, with a lifetime of military service, wants to nuke the Chicoms. Harry Truman, a politician, thinks otherwise. In retrospect, who is right? The war slides into a truce with no winners and we’re STILL plagued by Truman’s meddling. See 1814 above.

1968 – President Lyndon B. Johnson signs the Civil Rights Act of 1968, prohibiting discrimination in the sale, rental, and financing of housing and insuring that dimmocrats have a wrap on the black vote until hell freezes over.

1970 – Apollo 13 is launched, doesn’t make the moon landing, but makes an epic story of American “can-do” to return home.

1976 – The Apple I is created. Those silly hobbyists and their toys. Those things will never have any real function. Apple was sold out of pre-orders for the Apple Watch after the site went active ONE day.

1986 – FBI Miami Shootout: A gun battle in broad daylight in Dade County, Florida between two bank/armored car robbers and pursuing FBI agents. During the firefight, FBI agents Jerry L. Dove and Benjamin P. Grogan were killed, while five other agents were wounded. As a result, the popular .40 S&W cartridge was developed and now SWAT teams roll out in combat gear and armored vehicles to deliver warrants for parking violations.

2002 – Over two hundred thousand people marched in Caracas towards the Presidential Palace of Miraflores to demand the resignation of president Hugo Chavez. 19 of the protesters are killed, and the Minister of Defense General Lucas Rincon announced Hugo Chavez resignation on national TV. See 1814 above. Chavez managed to hang onto power, and between him and his successor, they’ve turned oil-rich Venezuela into a beacon of justice and freedom in South America. They did, right?!?