Overcast. Cool. At least what passes for cool in the fall in southwest Louisiana: Low sixties. My left knee is acting up following my bout of bowling with son Corey. So is my right shoulder. I’m not used to that particular range of motions.
Breakfast was biscuits, cream gravy and bacon. I feel good in my belly.
So this week we look at the Sunday paper and we find that only one hospital is reporting, but it’s the good on: the big hospital across the river that is noted for taking “walk-in deliveries” They don’t turn anybody down, and they tend to get the lower end of the socio-economic sclae, which sometimes corresponds to the dirty shallow end of the gene pool.
today we see the results of births from Sept. 27 through Oct. 11, twenty-five births in all. Twenty of these are to unmarried “couples” and six of these little darlings are either new iterations of the virgin birth story or are suffering from one or more versions of amnesia when it comes to the identity of the baby’s daddy. This is about what I expect from this place. I don’t expect much.
So, in no particular order, off we go:
Miss Amanda C. W. gives the world a look at her new daughter, little Kaley Madison Marie. Yes, no daddy, so she decided her new daughter would be able to use that extra space on the form for an extra name…
Mr. Michael & Mrs. Britney O. have a new son, little Trystn Gabriel. No, I double-checked that first name: six letters, one vowel. Cute.
Miss Antoinette B. and Mr. Marquetter N. figured their new daughter would enjoy a little boost in life, and they complied by presenting her with her very own punctuation mark: Alisha De’Shay
Mr. Shaun and Mrs. Audrey S. reached deep inside themselves (I’ll leave which orifice they reached inside up to you) for their new daughter and they came up with Chylee Jane. Now all we need to know is if you pronounce “Chylee” as “Ky-lee” or “Kell-ie” or Shy-lee” or “Shell-ie” or what, because that goofy-a**ed spelling doesn’t give a clue.
Also reaching into an orifice, Miss Shanna P. and Mr. Irby R. present their baby girl, little Iryanna Maddison. Great! A contrived first name and a misspelled middle name.
Miss Kanisha L. has a new daughter, little Kyra Ja’Nay. The baby didn’t have a daddy, but she does have a goofy-a**ed punctuation mark in her name.
Miss Marion M. and Mr. Leroy I. have a new daughter, and they show their knowledge fo geography by naming her India Lashawn. Next kid’s going to be Burma…
Now here’s where I have a problem: The parents’ names are Beau R. and Tremaine S. I’m not entirely sure which is the mommy and which is the daddy, although THEY figured it out among themselves, because here’s the baby, little A’Niyah Jade…
And this has to be one of the all-time great names: I mean, you’re the HR representative going through applications for a job and you see Miss Bernitha V.’s son, D’Nharayane Danarien Kty’Jaughan. You just KNOW you’ve found your new chief engineer for the energetic materials laboratory, don’t you? Either the mommy is really creative or the ward clerk poured a conductive liquid on her keyboard and then shook it…
I guess that I really need to end on that note. Mainly because after a name like D’Nharayane, what else is there?
I kinda wished you hadn’t posted that last one. Kept on trying to pronounce it until I sprained my tongue. Should I splint it or do you think a Ace bandage would do the trick? ;o)
One the last one good grief same name for the first and the last with one being a very goofey a**ed spelling. Lets see I am going to name my first male child after my dad Dug Doug. Ah heck lets just name the boy Dig Dug like the video game.
I give up. I generally like to pronounce people’s names right, but I don’t have any idea about that last one. Can someone come up with a phonic spelling?
I KNOW BERNITHAS GHETTO ASS,,,AND SHE SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF HERSELF FOR NAMING THAT CHILD THAT NAME
Right up there with that last name is something I saw on a kindergarten graduation program about 20 years ago. In the small town of Vidalia, someone had the bright idea to name their child Aurelianshante’. (Was this mother ahead of her time in adding the goofy assed apostrophe?) I figure it’s taken that poor child this entire 20 year period to learn how to pronounce AND spell their name correctly.