Daily Archives: 2/11/2018
The Name Game #505
Fifty-one degrees. One hundred percent humidity. Overcast and on the edge of drizzle. Brewed myself up a mug of Cafe’ Cubano and read the paper over breakfast, thinking that after last week’s monster birth announcements, there’d be nothing this morning.
Wrong! Reports come in from both hospitals. We get a total of sixty-three new babies, thirty-two of whom are born to unwed parents, and seven new kids have mommies who can’t remember a baby daddy. Must’ve been a heck of a party, huh?
Let us venture into the void together:
Maricris(!) & Dennis M. triple up on their son Damianne Critoff Perez.
Kyra L. & Raymond R. do a daughter with Raya Kasmil.
Necol(!) & Scotty R. choose a last name and make it their daughter’s first name, giving us little Cassiday Gracce.
LInzi(!) B. & Joseph M. Do a daughter with Alayah Dahn, which is how this got started, “You come to my place an’ alayah dahn an’ we see what happens.”
Jenny R. & Juan J. bring their daughter Julianny Marlin.
Another random last name shows up as Meghan J. & Zachary V. tag a son with Carson John.
Penny & Trinity P. triple up on their daughter Aurora Violet Renee.
Miss Danisha(!) V. does her daughter with Bailey Cashay because if the daddy had paid with a check instead of cashay, she’d know his name.
Emeric(!) S. & Stephanie D. perpetuate the travesty by naming the son Emeric Jett.
Raymond & Lorenza W. have twins, a girl and a boy whom they anoint as Wa’Sya and Demario.
Demarkus W. & Kayla A. do a daughter as Miracle Markayshia. The miracle is if this one stays off welfare.
Thomas & Jitlada(?) H. watched one too many episodes of Game of Thrones so their daughter is Arya Palida.
Joshua & Deanna G. give their son a trade from birth, showing us little Cooper Alexander.
Jordan B. & Jamie P. start their daughter off with her very first stripper name, Harlee Starr.
Des’Ric(!!!) D. & Quentessia(!!) C. tag a daughter with Paisley A’Mour. Kid never stood a chance.
Miss Vick’Norea(!!!) M. has a son Khy’Son Josiah.
Andrew & Ocean(!) F. do a daughter up as Aris J’va.
And that’s enough merriment for this week.
Today in History – 11 February
660 BC – Traditional founding date of Japan by Emperor Jimmu.
55 AD – Tiberius Claudius Caesar Britannicus, heir to the Roman Emperorship, dies under mysterious circumstances in Rome. This clears the way for Nero to become Emperor. Mysterious circumstances? Like Vince Foster’s ’suicide’?
1531 – Henry VIII of England is recognized as supreme head of the Church of England. Coincidentally, the Church of England allows divorce.
1752 – Pennsylvania Hospital, the first hospital in the United States, opens. Emergency room immediately fills with illegal aliens.
1812 – Massachusetts governor Elbridge Gerry gerrymanders for the first time. “Gerrymandering” is setting boundaries for a voting district to favor a particular group. It was considered bad. Now it’s accepted SOP to ensure minority representation.
1973 – Vietnam War: First release of American prisoners of war from Vietnam takes place. John Kerry claims another Purple Heart.
1979 – Islamic revolution of Iran achieves victory under the leadership of Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini. Jimmuh Carter goes all wobbly in the knees…
2006 – Vice President of the United States Dick Cheney shoots Harry Whittington in the face, neck, and upper torso while hunting quail, and the press wants us to get upset because he shot a LAWYER?
2011 – The first wave of the Egyptian revolution culminates in the resignation of Hosni Mubarak and the transfer of power to the Supreme Military Council after 18 days of protests. Egypt flowers into a beacon of peace and tolerance. Nightly crowds demonstrate to praise obama and Hillary Clinton.