235 – Maximinus Thrax is proclaimed emperor. He is the first foreigner to hold the Roman throne. Big deal. Ours got elected to a second term.

1815 – After escaping from Elba, Napoleon enters Paris with a regular army of 140,000 and a volunteer force of around 200,000, beginning his “Hundred Days” rule. This leads to yet another opportunity for France to get its collective butt kicked, this time in such a fashion as to found a new term for butt-kicking, “Waterloo”. France, after disastrous tries at democracy (the French Revolution) and dictatorship (Napoleon, TWICE!) gives up (how French!) and installs Louis XVIII, brother of the guy they beheaded in 1793. You’d think they’d learn.

1852 – Harriet Beecher Stowe’s Uncle Tom’s Cabin is published. It is a poorly-disguised work of propaganda that establishes stereotypes active to this day. Like “Uncle Tom”. And Dreams of My Father.

1854 – The Republican Party was founded in Ripon, Wisconsin, by politicians opposing the Kansas–Nebraska Act and the expansion of slavery in the United States.

1896 – US Marines land in Nicaragua to protect US citizens. Today we’d have to get permission from the UN to send a sternly worded letter. Or maybe not. We have a different set of hands on the controls now.

1914 – In New Haven, Connecticut, the first international figure skating championship takes place, providing a venue for gay men and gracefully athletic women.

1942 – Convoy PQ13 departs Reykjavik, Iceland, headed to Russia with 20 ships. The German Navy sinks six of them.

1942 – World War II: General Douglas MacArthur, at Terowie, South Australia, makes his famous speech regarding the fall of the Philippines, in which he says: “I came out of Bataan and I shall return”. Meanwhile, American forces stayed behind, fighting:

“We’re the battling bastards of Bataan”
“No mama, no papa, no Uncle Sam,
And nobody gives a damn”

1991 – Michael Jackson signs $65M deal with Sony records for six albums, receives an entire Cub Scout troop as a signing bonus.

2006 – Over 150 Chadian soldiers are killed in eastern Chad by members of the rebel UFDC. The rebel movement sought to overthrow Chadian president Idriss Déby. This is politics as usual in Africa.