What a beautiful morning! We woke up to a temperature of 60 degrees and there’s not a cloud in the sky. The local bird population is out there singing its collective butt off. Since Corey and I cut the grass yesterday, I’ve got mockingbirds wading around picking up easy insects exposed by the short grass and made sluggish by the coolth. Onward!

Two hospitals reporting in the paper this morning, births from August 24 through September 28, a total of 54 births, 27 of them to unwed mothers, and nine of these little darlin’s are still sorting out who de daddy be… Just to give you a glimpse into things, these two hospitals are different. One is the big hospital in Lake Charles, and is a noted place for “walk-in” births. This is where the new momma walks into the ER in labor, says “I be havin’ dis baby” and is serviced. The other is the smaller local hospital, and it tends to get more parents who take a more measured approach. How does this pan out statistically? Well, glad you asked… That big hospital reported 27 births in one week, seventeen to unwed couples, and 5 to those forgetful new mommies… Illigitimacy rate of 62%. I’m gonna tell you that the “poverty” rate, in terms of number of welfare recipients, is up there, too. People who do two things: vote and reproduce…

First we have the “Punctuation makes my baby stand out” bunch:

Miss LaQuinta Y. presents her new daughter, little AKiriyana Ke-Shannon. Seeing as how momma is named after a hotel chain, what kind of chance do you think the baby has… Oh, de baby daddy? He doan’ be lissed…

Miss Crystal L. & Mr. Demond W. have a new daughter too, little O’Rea Deja. We join the happy couple in celebration of their Irish heritage… heh!…

Miss Gwendolyn R. announces her new daughter, little Ja’mryia Marie. “mr”? I just type ’em like they’re printed.

Miss Bridgette R. and Mr. Randy D. announce THEIR new daughter, little Raven Denae’. If it wasn’t for that ” ‘ “, this one would hardly make the cut. Maybe I need to start a category for people who name their kids after birds…

Miss Gabbrielle M. has a new son, De’Marcus Jamal. That will look sooooo good on the NBA rosters…

Closing out this category, we have April and Curtis A. with their new daughter, Piper Jo’ley. They HAD to put that apostrophe in there because they figured that people would pronounce her middle name “jolly”… NO, folks’ll be too busy shaking their heads over “Piper”….

Then we have the “names that make you go “Huh?!?!”” category:

Let’s lead this one off with a mommy who does a couple of categories at once: Miss Kimberly M. & her main squeeze Mr. Jeremy H. present us with their daughter, little Mihai Autumn Faye. Three names, one just snatched out of thin air.

Miss Stephanie L. has a new daughter, little Dermany Malayla. Miss Stephapnie was impressed by geography. Didn’t learn any of it, but WAS impressed…

Miss Heather F. and Mr. Bobby M. have a new daughter too, little Shayli Brianne. That’s TWO cutesy contrived names!

Mr. William & Mrs. Tonisha W. tagged their baby boy with “Brylir Kye”. “Brylir”? Wasn’t that somebody in Norse mythology?

It’s not often, but it happens: We got ourselves a FOUR-bagger. Lynn & Francis H. have new daughter, little (Hang on, this is gonna take a while…) Hazel Mildred Myrtle Matilda. Notice that they managed to get ALL the way through without resorting to a sincle punctuation mark. Actually, this appears to be a tribute to all the fine old ladies in theri family, so I’m not going to “haw-haw” too much. I just wonder how that’s going to look when filling out those school forms…

And finally, Brandi (“Brandy, with an “i”!) and Devin D. have a new baby girl, little Mia Nechole. Now we all know that nobody is going to EVER pronounce that “Neck-hole”, right? Not even those evil little boys on the playground…

And there you have it, folks. Kick back, brew a nice cup of coffee, and enjoy my morning…