1799 – British Prime Minister William Pitt introduces income tax to raise funds for the war against Napoleon. Of course our own politicians took the idea to ever new heights. We’re paying taxes for a war against America.

1861 – American Civil War: The “Star of the West” incident occurs near Charleston, South Carolina as Southern positions fire on a ship attempting to resupply Fort Sumter. It is considered by some historians to be the “First Shots of the American Civil War”.

1894 – New England Telephone and Telegraph installs the first battery-operated telephone switchboard in Lexington, Massachusetts. I’ve actually operated a manual switchboard. The Army was still using them in the eighties, probably still is. “Bzzzzzzz…. Panther Switch!”

1912 – US Marines invade Honduras. Oddly enough, Tegucigalpa does not join Tripoli and Montezuma in the immortality of the Marine Hymn.

1916 – World War I: The Battle of Gallipoli concludes with an Ottoman Empire victory when the last Allied forces are evacuated from the peninsula. They didn’t commit to the battle, most of the British empire being otherwise detained in France keeping Germans out of Paris (again).

1923 – Juan de la Cierva makes the first autogyro flight. Kinda looks LIKE a helicopter. Isn’t, though.

1936 – The M1 Garand (United States Rifle, Caliber .30, M1) is standardized for adoption by the United States. It is the first semi-automatic rifle adopted for general issue by any nation. General George S. Patton called it “the greatest implement of battle ever devised.” I own one. A man with this rifle is NOT ill-equipped. The bayonet is lagniappe.

1947 – With de Gaulle’s stunning single-handed defeat of Nazi Germany fresh in his mind, French General Leclerc breaks off all talks with Vietnam’s Ho Chi Minh. A few years later Ho Chi Minh breaks it off in the French… Naturally, American lives are lost trying to fix yet another French f**k-up.

1951 – The United Nations headquarters officially opens in New York City. This pustule on the butt of humanity is still there… So is the UN Headquarters…

1968 – The only known snowfall in Mexico City occurs; additional snow falls on January 10 and 11. We need more SUV’s.

2007 – Apple CEO Steve Jobs unveils the first iPhone. I LOVE my iPhone.