1894 – In Vicksburg, Mississippi, USA, Coca-Cola is sold in bottles for the first time.

1912 – The Girl Guides (later renamed the Girl Scouts of the USA) are founded in the United States, go on to promote cookies made with opium.

1918 – Moscow becomes the capital of Russia again after Saint Petersburg held this status for 215 years. And they renamed Saint Petersburg to Leningrad because apparently Tsar Peter the Great didn’t slaughter enough of his countrymen. And now the city is Saint Petersburg again. Putinopolis, anybody?

1933 – Great Depression: Franklin D. Roosevelt addresses the nation for the first time as President of the United States. This was also the first of his “fireside chats”. “Hi! I’m your president. This is my pet camel. Let him get juuuust his NOSE under the edge of your tent…”

1938 – Anschluss: German troops occupy Austria; annexation declared the following day.

1945 – Diarist and Jewish teen Anne Frank dies in a German concentration camp. Real Nazis kill schoolgirls.

1947 – The Truman Doctrine is proclaimed to help stem the spread of Communism. How droll! A Democrat against communism. Today’s dimmocrats slobber all over themselves for every tinpot commie on the planet. Case in Point: Jimmuh “the dhimmi” Carter. And Obummer. And Bernie Sanders. And *Biden. And Harris.

1989 – Sir Tim Berners-Lee submits his proposal to CERN for an information management system, which subsequently develops into the world wide web. Al Gore curiously absent.

1993 – North Korea nuclear weapons program: North Korea says that it plans to withdraw from the Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty and refuses to allow inspectors access to its nuclear sites. But fear not! The Obama regime trades them food in return for GUARANTEES that the NorKs will behave. And we KNOW that they can be trusted. We’re gonna have to bomb these fools one day. I wonder what will trigger it?

1999 – Former Warsaw Pact members the Czech Republic, Hungary and Poland join NATO.

2003 – The World Health Organization officially release a global warning of outbreaks of Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS). We all didn’t die from that one, either.