1170 – Thomas Becket: Thomas Becket, Archbishop of Canterbury, is assassinated inside Canterbury Cathedral by followers of King Henry II; he subsequently becomes a saint and martyr in the Anglican Church and the Roman Catholic Church. This is about separation of church and state.

1837 – Steam-powered threshing machine patented in Winthrop, Maine

1845 – Texas is admitted as the 28th U.S. state. 2035 – New US-Mexican border established at the Trinity River.

1890 – United States soldiers clash with members of the Great Sioux Nation in the Wounded Knee Massacre. “Clash?” Soldiers killed perhaps 200 including women and children.

1934 – Japan renounces the Washington Naval Treaty of 1922 and the London Naval Treaty of 1930. Once out from under these restrictions, Japan builds a great navy. America and its allies sink most of it in WW II.

1998 – Leaders of the Khmer Rouge apologize for the 1970s genocide in Cambodia that claimed over 1 million. They apologized. That makes it okay… They were “imagining” “giving peace a chance” anyway…

1612 – Galileo Galilei becomes the first astronomer to observe the planet Neptune, although he mistakenly catalogued it as a fixed star. But hey! The science was settled…

1836 – Spain recognizes the independence of Mexico. How, if only Mexico had recognized the independence of Texas, we could have saved us a whole war…

1908 – A magnitude 7.2 earthquake rocks Messina, Sicily killing over 75,000. FEMA slow to respond. Bush widely blamed.

1939 – First flight of the Consolidated XB-24 Liberator bomber prototype. It and the Boeing B-17 were the backbone of US strategic bombing in Europe in WW II. The B-17 was prettier.

1948 – The DC-3 airliner NC16002 disappears 50 miles south of Miami, Florida. Cue up the “twilight Zone” theme music. It’s one of those “Bermuda Triangle” mysteries… Or a series of human errors. Depends on which way you mind works…

1973 – The Endangered Species Act is passed in the United States. Nine-banded snorflezorts breathe easier. Tree-hugging hippies now have federal law to give meaning to their lives.

1981 – The first American test-tube baby, Elizabeth Jordan Carr, is born in Norfolk, Virginia. Yawwwnnnnn! Call me when a government welfare check is a contact birth control medication.

1999 – Saparmurat Niyazov is proclaimed President for Life in Turkmenistan. You throw off the yoke of Soviet oppression and you STILL end up with a “president for life”? Duuuude! You’re doing it waaaaay wrong!

1825 – First public railroad using steam locomotive completed in England.

1871 – World’s first cat show held at the Crystal Palace in London. “What’s that? A cat. And that? Another cat.” Actually, I’ve been to a few cat shows. Fascinating, but cats are not nearly as widely different in their breeds as dogs can be. Think of the difference between a shih-tzu and a Saint Bernard…

1945 – The World Bank and International Monetary Fund are created with the signing of an agreement by 29 nations. Major functions include providing featherbeds for UN bureaucrats and funding third-World despots.

1972 – New North Korean constitution comes into effect. “Article 1: Kim is always right. Article 2: If Kim is wrong, see Article 1.” Article 3: Succession: Next of Kim.

1985 – Proselytizing for the Religion of Peace, Palestinian guerrillas kill eighteen people inside Rome and Vienna airports.

1776 – American Revolutionary War: The British are defeated in the Battle of Trenton. this was the result of that “Washington Crossing the Delaware” thing. It wasn’t a photo op, it was a BATTLE, and at the end, the Americans lost 2 dead (froze to death on the march there) and five wounded. The Brits and their Hessian mercenary allies lost 22 killed, 83 wounded and 896 captured. In this one battle, the Americans went from almost down and out to “Hey, we just might pull this off.”

1846 – Trapped in snow in the Sierra Nevadas and without food, members of the Donner Party resort to cannibalism.

1865 – James H. Mason of Massachusetts patents first US coffee percolator. It’s a horrible way to make good coffee, but a good way to make poor coffee.

1928 – Johnny Weissmuller announces his retirement from amateur swimming, goes on to be a particularly memorable movie star, especially as Tarzan.

1933 – The Nissan Motor Company is organized in Tokyo, Japan.

1936 – Israel Philharmonic Orchestra forms even though there is no Israel except in the hearts of the Jews. They’re isolated and persecuted, and there’s still enough spirit for an orchestra.

1944 – World War II: U.S. troops repulse German forces at Bastogne with Patton’s Third Army showing up after a brilliant turning move. General McAuliffe’s reply of “Nuts” to the German commander’s offer to accept his surrender is a fine example of making sure that when your mouth writes a check, your butt can cash it. The 101st Airborne and General McAuliffe wrote the check and Patton’s Third Army cashed it.

1979 – Opening night of the Concerts for the People of Kampuchea at the Hammersmith Odeon; a benefit concert for the citizens of Cambodia who were victims of dictator Pol Pot. Nobody mentions that those were victims of John Lennon’s “Give Peace a Chance.” and other such pacifist tripe. Self-important hippy M*****f*****s. The blood of millions is on their heads.

1991 – The Supreme Soviet of the Soviet Union meets and formally dissolves the USSR. Just like that… I spent years thinking I’d be fighting these bas*ards in the Fulda Gap.

1996 – The United Nations Convention to Combat Desertification goes into force. There IS NO END to the stupidity that the UN will put out. This one is right up there with King Canute’s commanding the tides to stop coming in.

2004 – A 9.0 magnitude earthquake creates a tsunami causing devastation in Sri Lanka, India, Indonesia, Thailand, Malaysia, the Maldives and many other areas around the rim of the Indian Ocean, killing 230,000 people.

274 AD – Roman Emperor Aurelian dedicates a temple to Sol Invictus on the supposed day of the winter solstice and day of rebirth of the Sun. The early Roman Catholic Church appropriated this holiday and made it into what we celebrate as Christmas today. A more likely date for the birth of Jesus would be earlier in the fall.

1066 – Coronation of William the Conqueror as king of England, at Westminster Abbey, London. He was also known as “William the Bastard”

1223 – St. Francis of Assisi assembles the first Nativity scene. ACLU gets the vapors.

1741 – Astronomer Anders Celsius introduces Centigrade temperature scale based on two easily reproducible natural standards, the freezing and boiling points of water.

1776 – George Washington and his army cross the Delaware River to attack the Kingdom of Great Britain’s Hessian mercenaries in Trenton, New Jersey. The moment is captured in a famous, although inaccurate, painting.

1818 – Handel’s Messiah makes its US premiere in Boston.

1896 – “Stars & Stripes Forever” written by John Philip Sousa.

1926 – Emperor Taisho of Japan dies. His son, Prince Hirohito succeeds him as Emperor Showa. Emperor Hirohito reigns until his death in 1989, seeing his country go from world power through WW II to an ashpile and then its resurrection as a world force again.

1941 – Admiral Chester W. Nimitz arrives at Pearl Harbor to assume command of the U.S. Pacific Fleet. Coincidentally, two Japanese carriers from the fleet that attacked Pearl Harbor, the Akagi and Kaga arrive back in Japan. Six months later they’d be on the bottom of the Pacific near Midway Island.

1941 – the Admiral Émile Muselier seizes the archipelago of Saint Pierre and Miquelon, which become the first part of France to be liberated by the Free French Forces. Mighty gutsy there, Gaston. These islands are off the coast of CANADA!

1990 – The first successful trial run of the system which would become the World Wide Web. Algore curiously absent.

1777 – Kiritimati, also called Christmas Island, is discovered by James Cook. Can anyone tell me why they called it “Christmas Island”? Anyone?

1814 – Treaty of Ghent (end of US-Britain’s War of 1812) signed. The Battle of New Orleans will happen in a month.

1818 – “Silent Night” is composed by Franz Joseph Gruber; It is first sung next day. Muslims riot and several atheists are immediately offended, and the ACLU files suit.

1942 – First powered flight of V-1 buzz bomb, Peenemunde, Germany. This is the grand-daddy of the cruise missile.

1946 – France’s Fourth Republic is founded. This is a good idea since the Germans stomped a hole in the Third Republic as France moved from “fight” to “surrender” and well into “collaborate”. I think France is up to #5 now and the next one will feature sharia law instead of that “Liberte’, Egalite’, Fraternite'” crap… And the quaint custom of beheading will make a resurgence.

1968 – Apollo Program: The AMERICAN crew of Apollo 8 enters into orbit around the Moon, becoming the first humans to do so. They performed 10 lunar orbits and broadcast live TV pictures that became the famous Christmas Eve Broadcast, one of the most watched programs in history.

1973 – District of Columbia Home Rule Act is passed, allowing residents of Washington, D.C. to elect their own local government. This has the same joyous effect on good government as Britain turning Rhodesia into Zimbabwe.