Dreary drippy warm day today.Low last night was SIXTY-FOUR! Welcome to December in southwest Louisiana! I walked out to get the paper this morning in air that almost dripped, saturated with humidity.

Opening up the “Life” section, we find that two hospitals report this week, the little on this side of the river and the big one across the river. That’s a total of eighty-nine births, forty-seven of them to unmarried folk who we will characterize as ‘couples’, and seven new babies show up with mommies who either don’t know, don’t care, or don’t want to say who the baby daddy is.

It’s a long list, so let’s get kicking. There’s some REAL winners today.

Let’s start with people who find they must use more than two given names to meet requirement of familial obligation and standards of poetry and meter:

Charlotte G. & Eric S. do a daughter, little Allyson Louise Rae.

Roger & Rhonda C. present their baby girl, little Rhylee Princess Rose.  Go ahead!  Name your kid ‘Princess’.

Harley C. & Dylan A. show a son, little Shadlen Dylan Sean.

Walter L. & Tillandsia(!) S. do three with a hyphen on their son, Treylon John-Randall.

Miss Chelsey B. shows her daughter, little GracieAnn Claire.  And a missing daddy.

Next we get the thundering herd of “Huh?!?!”:

Brandi ‘n’ Dondi (remember those cartoons?) W. do a daughter, little Raygen Rachell.

Ashley & Louis J. tag a son with Izick.  If only there was an OLD book that showed how to spell that name…

Kenton G. &  Rakisha(!) R. swap letters up and tag their baby boy with Kynton Hakem.

Miss Kayla W. hangs her son with Kaydan Markell.  No baby daddy listed.

Sylvester P. & Shayla(!) H. show their daughter, little Saniyah Jolie.

Miss Marquetta(!) M. brings her son, Jacoby Dewayne.  And a blank spot for ‘Father’s Name”.

Miss Latoya(!) R. has a new son, little Kylon Anthony.  named ‘im after spray paint.  Oh, that’s ‘Krylon’?  Never mind.

Jody & Robin S. bring a baby boy, little Rainey Jane.  One can only imagine further offspring following this vein.

Kelvin W. & Tamika(!) T. do a son, Taylin Montrelle.

Miss Jamika T. gives a son, little Kayden Jamal.

Darwin B. Sr. & Danielle W. get creative with a daughter, little Dannillize Brielle.  Since the baby daddy is a “Sr.” that means he already put a “Jr.” on the streets…

Miss Georgianna R. gives a son, little Travis Jamall.

Dante’ & Melissa B. present a daughter, little Daisha Renee.

Evan & Ashley G.  do a daughter, little Maci Kaye.  You can spell that M-A-C-K.

Lionel & Jasmine C. show their love of geography and minerology by tagging their daughter as London Jade.  May we expect a son, little Butte Chert?”

And then we have punctuation.  Lord, do we have punctuation.  We have punctuation for decoration.  We have punctuation for sophistication.  We have punctuation to tell our relatives when to stop making name noises:

Andrea’ W. & John G. present their baby girl, Aja’ Heavenly.

Derrick & Tallsha T. also have a daughter, little Derring Germai’a.

Marquis( Daddy must’ve had a FINE set of wheels!) & Diana M.bring their son, little D’Marco Amani.  Note the adherence to the “Capitalize the first letter after the goofy-a**ed apostrophe” rule.

Craig D. & Jasmine G. haul out a daughter, little (hang on!  It’s gonna be rough!) Ja’Ceira Lei’Shai.

Here’s another big pothole in the streets of Hillary’s ‘village’:  Miss Donetra B. pops one out and names the little girl Ken’Dailyah d’Ariel.

Micahel & Toni M. have a daughter, little Rylie Lenee’.  “Momma, when ya gets to da apossaffee, stop talkin’!”

Earl & Brittney (now “Brittneys” are breeding) V. show their daughter, Isabella L’Rae.

Seth A. & Ashley G. tag a son with Deondre Da’Moine.

And that’s the list today.  See you next week.