1612 – Galileo Galilei becomes the first astronomer to observe the planet Neptune, although he mistakenly catalogued it as a fixed star. But hey! The science was settled…

1836 – Spain recognizes the independence of Mexico. How, if only Mexico had recognized the independence of Texas, we could have saved us a whole war…

1908 – A magnitude 7.2 earthquake rocks Messina, Sicily killing over 75,000. FEMA slow to respond. Bush widely blamed.

1939 – First flight of the Consolidated XB-24 Liberator bomber prototype. It and the Boeing B-17 were the backbone of US strategic bombing in Europe in WW II. The B-17 was prettier.

1948 – The DC-3 airliner NC16002 disappears 50 miles south of Miami, Florida. Cue up the “twilight Zone” theme music. It’s one of those “Bermuda Triangle” mysteries… Or a series of human errors. Depends on which way you mind works…

1973 – The Endangered Species Act is passed in the United States. Nine-banded snorflezorts breathe easier. Tree-hugging hippies now have federal law to give meaning to their lives.

1981 – The first American test-tube baby, Elizabeth Jordan Carr, is born in Norfolk, Virginia. Yawwwnnnnn! Call me when a government welfare check is a contact birth control medication.

1999 – Saparmurat Niyazov is proclaimed President for Life in Turkmenistan. You throw off the yoke of Soviet oppression and you STILL end up with a “president for life”? Duuuude! You’re doing it waaaaay wrong!